Here's what the new website isn't: a meaningful reversal of major LDS teachings or policies. To the extent that I had any hope of that happening, of course it's a huge disappointment. On the one hand, people are literally killing themselves out here. On the other hand, I guess it's not terribly surprising to find out that the Pope is still Catholic, bears still poop in the woods, and Mormon leaders still have the same opinions.
There are a few smaller changes that are worth noticing, I think.
First off, "Mormon and gay" (adjectives) is an improvement on "Mormons and gays" (nouns). It's the difference between saying "Jewish people" versus "the Jews." It's not that the noun form is technically inaccurate, but somehow, it's too often used in a derogatory or at least marginalizing context.
Also, it's significant that it's hosted on lds.org. People who really should have known better thought the old website was produced by enemies of the LDS Church. Having lds.org in the address makes the site more accessible and more credible.
Moving to trans issues: on the one hand, the intentional and explicitly stated failure to address trans issues may be another huge disappointment. On the other hand, the explicit recognition that being Mormon and trans is difficult in ways that a discussion about attraction and orientation won't adequately address is a big step, possibly in the right direction.
I am glad to see resources for people who are depressed or contemplating suicide. Of course, I'd prefer doing something about the teachings and practices that lead people to feel like they just can't go on living, but preventing people who feel like that from actually taking their lives is an important part of what needs to happen.
It's good to see increasing acceptance of terms like "gay," "lesbian," and "bisexual" instead of insistence that those labels are incorrect or damaging. And yeah, there seem to be more letters in LGBT+ every year, so maybe just describing "any people who are attracted to other people of the same sex" might allow you to find a useful blanket term that includes people who don't prefer to use the most prevalent labels. In my view, though, the term "same-sex attracted" fits like a burqa: it seems to create unnecessary restrictions on how you view the world, but if that's something you want for yourself, I support whatever you choose, while still being deeply suspicious of the people or teachings that might have influenced or coerced that choice. Maybe the guy who calls himself "same-sex attracted" would prefer that term in different circumstances too. But also, maybe he's worked at the Church Office Building for a while, and hasn't exactly been free to use any other term without risking his job. I can't tell, and I support the choice, but I maintain my skepticism of the factors involved.
The biggest thing, in my view, is that telling real people's stories matters. There's a part of me that feels a little guilty just saying that, that knows that data are supposed to be superior to anecdotes. Of course, there are times when you need good data. "Look, I'm a gay man but I got married to a woman and we make it work" is a downright dangerous story if you don't understand how infrequently that sort of arrangement really thrives. However, I'm also convinced that telling true stories about ourselves is the only way we ever understand each other -- hearing a good, true story is the best way to understand someone else's heart, or change your own.
In some respects, the stories are messy. They are about people's real lives, and they might not conform to anyone's preferred narrative. Of the five or six gay, lesbian, bisexual, or "same-sex attracted" people whose stories are featured, two were sexually abused as children. I might leave that detail out -- people might infer something about causation or "conversion therapy" -- but they're not my stories to tell. I might want to edit the stories so that the people who are married and attracted to an opposite-sex partner are understood to be at least a teensy bit bisexual, but that's not how they see themselves, and I have no standing to impose a label they don't want. Conversely, I'm sure the people who insist that it's harmful to see yourself as "gay" or "lesbian" and that you should only ever identify as "same-sex attracted" would like to edit some of the stories to use different terminology. To be clear, having stories that aren't distorted to fit the narrative someone else wants is a good thing. We all need to understand what people's lives are really like.
I'm also glad to see true stories where people weren't demonized for dating, where church leaders preferred gentleness and love to authoritarianism, where family members love each other unconditionally, and where people wrestling with their sexuality and religion had sacred experiences with God's love. The stories also don't shy away from the pain and difficulty of being Mormon and gay. These are conversations that need to be had.
There are other stories that need to be heard, though, and there are godly ways of life that you'll never find recommended on lds.org. After reading all the stories on the official LDS website, I saw this one, elsewhere: "A Name and a Blessing – A Timeline." You won't find it on lds.org: the author -- a woman -- leaves the LDS church, marries the woman she loves in the Unitarian Universalist Church, and it ends thus:
Someday, in the near future – our first child will be born, and that child will receive a blessing and a name in the church where the woman with the Biblical name and I got married. Our child will never be sent a letter saying that those blessings have been cancelled. They won’t know blessings can be cancelled. They will grow up in a church where they learn their family is normal and whole. I hope they grow up knowing, believing, deep in their hearts, that they belong to us, and to God. I hope they grow up knowing that when they call us, we will always answer; we will always bless them; we will speak their name tenderly.If "wickedness never was happiness" because being "without God" is contrary to the nature of happiness (as the Book of Mormon asserts, in Alma 41), then finding God and happiness could never be wicked. That, too, is best understood by hearing stories like the one above.
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